she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
