@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
