the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
