Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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