it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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