some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
