this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
