Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
