apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
