You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
