I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
