ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
