I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
