Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
