I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
