I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
