It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
