I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
there is puke in my bra ... again
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
