just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
