Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
