It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
