Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
