What a fucking waste of an outfit
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
