I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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