I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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