i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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