I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
