Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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