That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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