Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
