you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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