just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
