we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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