The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
