If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
