covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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