I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
