pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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