My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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