i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
