dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
