um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
