Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
