I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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