My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
