omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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