I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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