i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
