Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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