i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
