Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Randomize
