Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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