I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
