Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
